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Hell, even some of the nuns that taught at the school were starting to look good to you... well, the younger ones that were in their twenties that were on staff as assistant teachers and student advisers.At the start of the school year, you had even joined a Promise Circle, in the hopes that support and encouragement from others that felt as you felt would be able to help stave off your desires. While it had worked for a little while, by the middle of the school year it was becoming more and more difficult to actually WANT to adhere to the promise of abstaining from sex until marriage.The only solution you could think of was that you had to lose your virginity. You reasoned that if you were able to consummate your desires with another, the idea of sex would no longer be something constantly weighing on your mind and soul. In your mind and heart, it made perfect sense... you had to fuck someone, but who?And although you knew that incest was wrong and a sin, your hormones once again. Often, I doubted whether we still liked each other and were, as marriage partners, likeable.I could not then and cannot now make up my mind about how Helen felt and what unforeseen challenges arose for her out of our brief affair. She steadfastly maintained throughout our relationship that she loved Jurgen, that he was a good man and father, and that she would never hurt or leave him.Jurgen was undeniable, on many levels, a desirable marriage partner that provided Helen with an affluent lifestyle and a secure future. I did not know him, and Helen never talked at length about their life together. I don’t think they shared many interests, but Jurgen could still have been a pleasant, companionable partner. With these factors added up, their marriage was, perhaps, a successful one, even if the sexual spark was missing. In this respect, their marriage was far from unusual.While Helen hinted from the beginning about a sexual problem in her marriage, it took her a long time to talk about.
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